The Bad « Irascible Raconteur

Things Jason Ponders Today

I wonder things today:

Why is the world overrun with idiots who feel the need to shout in my face “Look! Look! I might be the single dumbest fucking person on Earth, let me tell you why! Wait, where are you going? Wait! You want to know, because I am awesome. My mother/insecure girlfriend/spirit guide told me so!”
If I look at you like you’re a moron, that’s probably what I think you are. And also, I hope that you’ll go away.
Why is the *wish* for rhythm not enough? I don’t want to look at *myself* like I’m the dumbest fucking person on Earth.
Why can’t I hit more people?
Why don’t I hit on more people?
Am I really the terribly huge flirt people accuse me of being?
Am I being stalked right now? I can totally see you, by the way.
Is it worth investing in a paintball helmet? Because my head hurts.
People insist on telling me that there are women out there I’d be interested in; why can’t they further tell me where the fuck they’re hiding?
I already dread Gen Con. Thanks for the reminder, Ben. Really.
I’m tired of being told to be nice. Being nice got me corncobbed for most of my life.
I’m too nice.
TOO NICE.
Nice is different from courtesy.
I like being courteous.
There should be a switch: you are no longer a romantic sap.
I need–NEED, MOTHERFUCKER–to get back to putting 2,000 words a night down in writing. I’ve got bills, damn it.
I need to go back to work.